Yes, I understand death is hard for most people, especially if it was a person you knew very well. I just don't understand the fact that Mormons and other religious groups have this thing about heaven and seeing your family again after their body is dead. I can't stand that they get to be so naive to think that after a person has died and been embalmed or cremated that the spirit that used to be their grandmother or their dog is up in the clouds waiting to see them again. That their soul and spirit lives on until you can go meet them in heaven and see their cool mansion and unlimited happiness. I think they believe in things that are unrealistic and childish. It's like the thought of death has made them want to go back to when they were innocent children and run to daddy and ask why everything can't be perfect and why they can't be shielded like when they were young. I hate that I have to cry myself to sleep 60% of the time because I know that I will never see that person again, ever. All I have left is material possessions, memories, and pictures.
Sometimes I think about being some sort of religious again because I can't let go of the people I love the most. Since I left the church, I have thought so much about people and what happens when a person you loves leaves you forever in a physical sense, and what I would ever do if that happened. I think, in some cases, I will never be able to get through it, no matter what. I think about the person that passed away and think "I could have helped them, if I had just been more attentive, less selfish, less clueless." I could never go back to religion, though. There are too many questions that I want definite answers to, and too many answers that don't make any sense. I look into a religious congregation and all I can see is followers instead of leaders, children instead of adults, and robots instead of real people. They all recite and sing to and about a god that doesn't exist and read words written by people who decided to make up things that never really happened for their own benefit.
I hope (if you decided to read this far) that I'm helping you in some way. I hope I can help open your eyes and your mind to different views and help you understand why I organized religion can be very harmful to the mind, and to your view of reality.
If you are reading this blog because you have doubts about your Mormon beliefs, let me direct you to the places that helped me make my decision: